Sometimes when you deal with people who say black when you say white, you'd like some other ways to influence.

Or perhaps there are things you'd like to say to people, but you don't have the right status, role or even opportunity to say what you want to.

This is when a Negative Command can be useful.

One of my students/clients used the negative command to get a colleague to resign. People had been trying to do it covertly for weeks. It took her just one day of using this suggestion technique.

Essential the negative command relies on 2 things:

• a command in the negative "Don't even think about resigning"
• and emphasis "Don't even THINK ABOUT RESIGNING".

Hypnosis points out to us that there is no such thing as a negative in the world.

Test this: Don't think of a chair.

Most people report that they have to think of a chair and put a cross through it, or they have to process a chair in their mind, and find something that isn't a chair (like a table) in order to process this.

Either way, they think first of a chair before they think of a "not chair".

So when you are telling them (subliminally) to think some thoughts by telling them not to think that thought, you have permission to say things you'd normally not be able to say.

Add then the double whammy of what hypnosis calls an "analog marking", and you've got magic.

Analog marking is like when in print you suddenly make something bigger or bolder so you notice it. You see this in marketing materials quite often - a subtle or not so subtle emphasis of certain words which cause you to pay attention.

In the spoken word, we emphasis some words and not others all the time. With a little practice you may find you don't even think about a negative command before you say it with emphasis on the command part!

So in business you may want to ask people to think these "not thoughts"

• don't enjoy your self too much (if they're a little uptight)
• you can't ask too many questions (if you want them to ask more)
• don't think about how you'll use this (if you want them to find it useful)
• don't wonder about what excellent value this is, wonder if you can use it somehow (if you want them to notice the value)
• don't tell me everything; only tell me what I want to know (so they'll tell you everything, and also what you need to know, which is in this case, probably everything)
• don't relax too much. Don't think about how deeply you're concentrating (if they're getting a little worried)
• don't even think about quitting (this is the magic phrase my client used)
• don't hesitate to call. Don't be a stranger. (if you want them not to call)
• don't be surprised when you get it right (if they're trying something new)

A recent article on Robert Cialdini's influence principle of social proof talked about advertising which doesn't work: showing lots of litter and saying "lots of people litter, so don't you do it " can actually increase litter. This is because it's working as a type of negative command, where what you don't want is what you get.

I've heard some really "good" negative commands which backfired - see which of these you notice in the world around you, know you know what they really mean:

• don't hesitate to call (try saying instead feel free to call)
• don't forget your umbrella (remember your umbrella)
• don't fall! (you're doing well, keep going)
• you're not even trying (and now they're not!)
• don't open your test booklets yet (better to say keep the books closed)

These influence patterns are part of the NLP body of knowledge (modelled from Milton Erickson in the 1970's by 2 researchers, John Grinder and Richard Bandler). You can read more in their book the Structure of Magic: a book about Language and Therapy.

Or sign up for one of my NLP in Business courses (not currently scheduled, but who knows?). Or some individual coaching to give you more choices in your language patterns.

It will be worth every cent to have the power to suggest rather than order, adjust your language to suit your listener and build rapport with anyone you meet, won't it?

Don't email me straight away now, will you? :)

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